"There's a myth that anyone who has a liver problem has brought it on themselves" This quote is from a Crohn's disease patient living with a blocked portal vein hoping for a liver transplant (Independent 31st Oct 2010)

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Visit to A&E

As a sucker for medical programmes I've watched via Channel 4OD the observational series "24 Hours in A&E" about London's King's College Hospital emergency room.
A backdrop to the high octane emergency cases are the mundane 'walk-ins' and time wasters, with their cuts and bruises that could be treated at home. Yesterday I felt like an A&E time waster.

After 10 days of patiently bandaging the persistant swelling and increasing pain in my sprained ankle T decided it was time to get a second opinion from a medic on the best strapping so I can carry on driving and working. The best place, I reckoned, was a quick visit to a nurse at my GP surgery. In and out, 5 minutes. No wasting the GP's time. But....

With apologies to A A Milne and his poem 'The King's Breakfast'

'T' asked
Me and
I asked
the receptionist:
"Could we have some strapping for
Fiona's hurty leg?"
Reception asked the Practice Nurse,
The Practice Nurse
Said, "Certainly,
I'll go and get the bandage
Before she goes to bed."

The Practice Nurse
She rang us
And went and told
"Don't forget the GP must
first check out the leg."
The Practice Nurse
Said sadly:
"You'd better tell
That no nurses nowadays
Can bandage up
a leg"

The GP
Said, "Fancy!"
And thought it might
be broken.
She turned to Fiona, and
suggested instead:
"Best to get an x-ray,
Off to emergency,
and if its broken,
they'll put a cast on instead."

The Triage nurse said
In X-ray they
imaged it, and sent me back to
sit by a boy who cut his head.

.... 4 hours later ....

The Doctor said,
"Deary me!"
And then he said,
"Not broken"
So I said, "Thank Goodness,
Can you bandage my leg?'
I pleaded,
"Could call me
A fussy one;
I only want
A little bit
Of bandage for
My leg"

The Doctor said,
"There, there!"
And went to
Get some bandage
The Doctor
Said, "There, there!"
And went to get some tape,
The Doctor said,
"There, there!
I can do a bandage,
Here we are
All fixed
I’ve bandaged up your leg"

(And you know, he did it exactly how T had been bandaging it)


  1. Love your poem!!

  2. Fiona,
    I hope your ankle is feeling better. You don't seem like the type who would enjoy being down for very long.
    I hope you get to enjoy a few good walks before the weather starts turning on you.