I shouldn't have had cancer

Three monthly check-up at Salford liver clinic yesterday. The spreadsheet of monthly blood tests over the previous 3 months looks optimistic - well MY copy does, as although both my GP and I forwarded our monthly copies to Dr Al nobody at Salford arranged to have the figures entered on his system. Monitoring will be reduced to 3-monthly. All now done at Salford. I'm sure this is an ok decision, but will be sorry to loose my easy access to results via the GP. Bet I never get sent copies from Salford. T suggested I ask my GP to do an intermediary set at 6 weeks, for my piece of mind. We just don't tell anyone else!

It seems I have become a bit of an oddity. Heppy doc asked if I would give my permission for his team to write up a publication on me. He explained that it's usually patients with a chronic active Hepatitis B virus that progress to cancer. My virus levels have been undetectable for at least 17 years, and he explained it's unusual for a liver cancer to develop that length of time after a virus has become inactive. Also it's not common for someone with autoimmune hepatitis to develop liver cancer.
So I asked "what caused the cancer then?"
"That's what we'd like to know" he said.
He gave me paperwork to authorise them (it will a joint paper by him, his registrar, O'Blimey and Dr Caravan) to publish within the stable of BMJ (British Medical Journal) publications.
By now I'm feeling self-important, and barely caught his mumble about it being 'most likely published in mumblemumble'.
"In where?"
"Gut" ..............
Yes, there is a journal called 'Gut'. Maybe it should become a guest publication on 'Have I Got News for You' alongside 'Drain trader'; 'Gas installer'; and 'World pumps'. All quite suitable digestive organ titles!
Ah well, that was the end of my 15 minutes of fame.